[Doc]

Whilst preparing a pre-match 7pm feast, [Germany v Italy was a cracker - not often you see the Germans clueless on a pitch], I became aware of further entertainment outside; this taking the form of my N'cle/West Monkseaton community in flood with salt-of-the-earth neighbours cheerily waving as they canoed down our street under 3ft of brown sludge and my 2 daughters + wife playing pooh-sticks with other peoples furniture.

One exceptionally large dining table floating past with my dog Holly attached to it (when I say dog, she is more like 50% greyhound/50% Chewbacca the Wookie from Start Wars).

After a frantic hour rescuing some of my friends precious possessions and cramming them into my hallway,(making them promise I can keep their mountain bikes, plasma TV's etc.. if the insurance pays out), I went to the aid of a fellow biker who was finding out the hard way that BMW-GS adventure bikes and Triumph 900's dont float too well.

Luckily, the only damage to my property was loss of porch carpet and necessity to replace front gate & post owing to a car smashing into it; no point remustrating with the driver cos there wasnt one (Fiats do however make lovely garden ornaments as we discovered it next day at a bungalow further downhill).

I hope to attend to this minor repair once dry weather can be guaranteed (Sept 2013 I reckon). Tip - dont buy a house at the bottom of a hill and also go for a corner plot with 2x storm drains that protect your loved ones in the garage (incidentally I offered to house the Triumph but the BMW would have to go on my garage roof - freaking ugly thing with rusting trellis frame and square aluminium panniers that even a organ donor wouldnt grant delivery rights to moving their body parts in).

Anyway, I have invited said unfortunate soul to join us - on his British 900 - for a ride out sometime soon and if you see us oot & aboot please (a) welocome him warmly and sympathetically (b) badger him to buy a decent bike so I can have someone across the street to go riding with without embarrassement.

Hope to make it to BIKEWISE tom @ Durham Police HQ but given Im now the proprietor of "Newcastle's newest Youth Hostel" and likely to be serving Sunday Lunch to 12-15 lost souls, I'm being more optimistic than usual. Found a use for all my camping gear though!

Well at least we made the 6pm & 10pm ITV News yesterday with my girls discovering a new sport of hovering in the background of flash flood reports whilst pretending to help the refugees.

Ride Safe & Have Fun; the Custard Glide Lives.Doc