flight attendant

[lawnmower]

THE GAY FLIGHT ATTENDANT (This one is too funny not to forward on.)
> >
> >
> >
> >My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who
> >seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.
> >As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and
> >told us that 'Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be
> >landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could
> >just put your trays up, that would be super.'
> >
> >
> >
> >On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather
> >Arabic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. 'Perhaps you didn't hear me
> >over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo,
> >so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground.'
> >
> >
> >
> >She calmly turned her head and said, 'In my country, I am called a
> >Princess and I take orders from no one.' To which (I swear) the flight
> >attendant replied, without missing a beat, 'Well, sweet-cheeks, in my
> >country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray-up, Bitch!

[BigKev]

Good one Mark - As I copied it round the office, this one came back....

A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old son playing with his new
electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son saying, "All of you
b*stards who want to get off, get the hell off now, 'cause this is the last stop! And all of
you b*stards who are getting on, get your arse in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."

The horrified mother went in and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house.
Now I want you to go to your room and stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play
with your train, but I want you to use nice language."

Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train. Soon the
train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking the train,
please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for travelling with us
today and hope your trip was a pleasant one." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of
you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there
is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."

As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the
TWO HOUR delay, please see the fat b*tch in the kitchen."

[lawnmower]

he he