a few quickies ...

whilst out yeasterday i met this bloke with a didgeridoo, he was playing dancing queen on it, i thought, "thats aboriginal".

i was reading this book today, the history of glue.. i couldnt put it down.

i told my mum i was opening a theatre, she said 'are you having me on?, i said well il set up an audition but im not promising you owt.

went into the local RSPCA office today, its tiny, you couldnt swing a cat in there.

i phoned the ramblers association today, the bloke that answered just went on and on......

i bought a train ticket to France and the ticket seller said "Eurostar" . i said well ive been on telly but im no dean martin.

[Ratty]

Tommy Cooper rules

[jim3940]

Just keep taking the medication. The side effects will be minimal .

[Heritagebob]

Went into my local record store the other day and asked " Got anything by the Doors?" The assistant said " yeah got a fire bucket and a mop"!

[Veggie]

Eric and Ernie sitting up in bed (as they did).....

Ernie..Is there anything on the telly tonight

Eric...Yes, a fruit bowl and an ashtray

Classic