America and History, some corkers..

[the_french_owl]

From my wife's files, some real exam answers from US students of all ages... Bear with me, there's a lot to go through...

The Bible:

"The inhabitants of ancien Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah dessert and travelled by camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so certain areas of the dessert are cultivated by irritation. The Egyptians built the pyramids in the shape of a triangular cube. The Pyramids are also a range of mountains between France and Spain.

The Bible is full if interesting carricatures. In the 1st book of the Bible, Guinesses, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, once asked "Am I my brother's son?". God asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac on mountain Montezuma. Jacob, son of Isaac, stole his brother's birth mark. Jacob was a patriarch who brought his 12 sons to be patriarchs, but they did not take to it. One of Jacob's sons, Joseph, gave refuse to the Israelites.

Pharaoh forced the Hebrew slaves to make bread without straw. Moses led them to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Afterwards, Moses went up on mount Cyanide to get the 10 commandments. Davis was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Phillatelists, a race of people who lived in biblical times. Solomon, one of David's sons had 500 wives and 500 porcupines."

Patrick

[patrick]

whahaa - brilliant you couldnt make it up

[Ultima Tony]

Brilliant mate.
But to be fair that is as much sense as the bible makes to me anyhow.

"And Triumph could be heard throught the land" and all that crap they never started making them until the 50s and there they are riding around on them before the Romans were around, Im not a beleiver as you can tell.

Humour is good, keep em cumming, makes i laf.

Tony dance like a twat me !

[Charlieharley]

Originally Posted by Ultima Tony

Brilliant mate.
But to be fair that is as much sense as the bible makes to me anyhow.

"And Triumph could be heard throught the land" and all that crap they never started making them until the 50s and there they are riding around on them before the Romans were around, Im not a beleiver as you can tell.

Humour is good, keep em cumming, makes i laf.

Tony dance like a twat me !

Sorry But not quite true. The bible states the JC rode into Jerusalem on his Triumph. And the Blue print for the Frame was found etched on the inside wall of one of the pyramids.

[the_french_owl]

The Greeks and Romans...

" Without the Greeks, we wouldn't have history. The Greeks invented 3 kinds of columns: Corinthian, Doric and Ironic. They also had myths. A myth is a female moth. One myth says that the mother of Achilles dipped him in the river Stynx until he became intollerable. Achilles appears in the Iliad by Homer. Homer also wrote The Oddity in which Peneloppe was the last hardship that Ulysses endured on his journey. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer, but by another person of that name.

Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. He died of an overdose of wedlock.

In the olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits and threw the java. the reward to the victor was a coral wreath. The government of Athens was democratic because people took the law into their own hands. there were no wars in Greece, as the mountains were so high that they couldn't climb over to see what their neighbors were doing. When they fought the Persians, the Greeks were outnumbered because the Persians had more men.

Eventually, the Ramons conquered the Greeks. History calls people Ramons because they never stayed in one place for very long. At roman banquets, the guest wore garlics in their hair. Julius Ceasar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his subjects by playing the fiddle to them.""