Club Night Reminder

[Shropshire_Lass]

Hi

Reminder from Stevie Fishtail

Club night is on tomorrow (24-03-06) at the Shoulder of Mutton.

Some helpful hints below for a good night

BEER TROUBLESHOOTING

SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.

SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
FAULT: Improper bladder control.
ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training.

SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
ACTION: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.

SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted.
FAULT: The beer is too weak.
ACTION: Have more beer until your voice improves.

SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
FAULT: You have fallen over backward.
ACTION: Have yourself leashed to bar.

SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts.
FAULT: You have fallen forward.
ACTION: See above.

SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
FAULT: You are dancing on the table.
ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy-looking.

SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to the song.
FAULT: Beer is just right.
ACTION: Play air guitar.

SYMPTOM: Beer is crystal-clear.
FAULT: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
ACTION: Punch him.

SYMPTOM: Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.
FAULT: You have been in a fight.
ACTION: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them.

SYMPTOM: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in.
FAULT: You've wandered into the wrong party.
ACTION: See if they have free beer.

SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark.
FAULT: Bar has closed.
ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender.

SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
FAULT: You are being carried out.
ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar.

SYMPTOM: Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures.
FAULT: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations.
ACTION: Cover mouth.

Cheers
Ruth

[Rocket Ron]

Cheers Ruth

Tell Stevie hopefully there should be a few of us coming down

Ron

[mrpostie]

We'll be there toooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

[jinxy]

Sorry folks got sumit else to do

[john_the_organizer]

Yes the Winchester end will be there!!! Shropshire Lass what lovely eyes!!
Regards JtO.

[The Dude]

Have you had the "op" then Stevie/Ruth or whatever you are caling yourself?
gsdude

[Shropshire_Lass]

Ha ha

Just doing Steve a favour cos he doesn't have pc at mo - can assure you that he's still in possession of tackle and not flouncing around in pink knickers

Cheers
Ruth

[The Dude]

That's NOT what he was telling us last nite!! And wot it says in the men's lavvy!!;)
Mind you, wot he does behind closed doors is Fekk all to do with me!
gsdude

[jinxy]

Steve is a pre op trannie ive seen im in pink tights more so at rallys how you doin Ruth

[Shropshire_Lass]

Hi Jinxy

Blimey - might have to keep a closer eye on my underwear!!!

Doin fine thanks - looking forward to a summer of rallies. U & Ulla going to Talgarth? Steve invited me, so have been preparing for me first camping trip ever .... arrgghh! No laffin at my pitiful attempts at putting up the tent;)

Cheers
Ruth