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Thread: my wife jokes

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    my wife jokes

    My wife said I should get in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car, burnt the dinner & sulked all day for no reason. She hinted she wanted something black & lacy for her birthday, so I bought her some football boots. After my wife died, I couldn't look at another woman for ten years, but I'm out of prison now. My wife apologised for the first time ever today, she said she was sorry she ever married me. Ba-dum tshhh.

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    Re: my wife jokes

    My wife shouted at me today for not opening the car door for her. Normally I would have, but I was too busy swimming for the surface. Things turned ugly last night, the wife took her makeup off. Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a womans sex drive by 90%. It's called wedding cake. My wife asked for a little peace & quiet while she got the dinner ready, so I took the battery out of the smoke alarm. I got a funny email from "Bored housewife looking for some action", so I sent her my washing & ironing. That should keep her busy for a while. Having a dyslexic father has it's good points. When he caught me swearing, he used to wash my mouth out with soup. That's all folks......

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    Re: my wife jokes

    Not heard the smoke alarm one before - like it, as it should work with my daughter too ;-)

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    Re: my wife jokes

    im still laughing

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    Re: my wife jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by Army View Post
    im still laughing

    Is that because you only just got them Andy? (shades of chinese drug dealer lol )
    Only dead fish swim with the tide

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    Re: my wife jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by Army View Post
    im still laughing
    what he said

    When in danger or in doubt, run in circles scream and shout!

    A common mistake made when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.

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    Re: my wife jokes

    Ha Ha you could be right Tony but the My Cocain had me i looked at it a few times and then the delayed reaction I laughed but "ah so no Crapping"

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    Re: my wife jokes

    all of it Steve it smacks of Les Dawson and Bernard Manning 2 class acts but i do remember the comedians

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    Re: my wife jokes

    I read it few times and I am laughing like a mad.

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    Re: my wife jokes

    my wife likes to talk during sex. just the other night she called me from a motel.

    When in danger or in doubt, run in circles scream and shout!

    A common mistake made when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.

    Join the Harley-Davidson Riders Club Great Britain

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